How much have your parents, grandparents or other relatives told you about your family’s past? Are there aspects of this history that you wish you knew more about?
Helen Zia begins “My Mother’s Secrets,” her essay about learning about her own family history, this way:
Growing up in the 1950s as one of the few Chinese-American kids in my New Jersey town, I was so often told to “go back where you came from” that I wondered about this place called China, where I had never been. But whenever I asked my mother about her young life in China, I always received the same curt answer: “That was wartime, unhappy memory.”
Over time, I stopped asking. Until one day, when she was in her 70s and we were having dinner in her small apartment, I lapsed into my childhood mantra. “Too bad you can’t tell me about my grandparents in China,” I muttered with no expectation of a reply.
But this time my mother put down her chopsticks and said: “All right, you want to know? I’ll tell you.”
I listened, transfixed, as my gentle mother launched into a tale with such clarity and force that I sat mute, fearing any sound from me would disrupt the narrative unfolding like a storybook that had never been opened:
After hearing some of the harrowing history her mother had hidden from her, Ms. Zia writes:
Learning my mother’s stories for the first time, I began to understand why so many of the refugees and migrants chose not to tell their children about their exodus from Shanghai. Why recall trauma and hardship when, after finding places of refuge, they could focus on encouraging their children to reach their full potential? They themselves had not had that opportunity.
Even a cursory look at immigrants in America shows that a disproportionate number of their offspring pay forward their parents’ sacrifices. The Shanghai exodus produced Maya Lin, the architect, Elaine Chao, the secretary of transportation, the Nobel laureate physicist Steven Chu and the novelist Amy Tan. Other migrations have brought the nation talents as varied as the former secretary of state Colin Powell, the writer Edwidge Danticat, the guitarist Carlos Santana, the actress Lupita Nyong’o and too many more to name.
My mother did not live to see herself in my book, but her secrets enabled me to see today’s migration crises through the eyes of a frightened child. It should not take another seven decades to grasp why present-day migrants risk all to face tear gas at a border, to brave rough seas in rubber rafts, to crowd into the next boat, plane, train or bus out of fear that it may be the last one out.
Or for the nation to realize that these refugees and migrants give so much more to the communities that welcome them than they will ever take away.
Students, read the entire piece, then tell us:
— Does anything in this piece remind you of your own family or background? How?
— What do you know about your family history? What stories get told over and over? Are there aspects of your parents’ or grandparents’ pasts that they seem reluctant to talk about? Why do you think that is?
— What would you like to know more about? How could you find out?
— How do you think your family’s history continues to resonate in your generation? What aspects of this history or culture are still a part of you? How?
— Ms. Zia reminds us that refugees and migrants often sacrifice to find places of refuge. If your family has ever immigrated from one place to another, do you know the details and the stories behind those journeys?
Students 13 and older are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public.
