After reading over 100 comments, we found out that Ms. Reed is not alone. Many students had a painful story to tell about being excluded, whether it was a memory from first grade or a slight that stung just last week. Below, their stories — of being left out, of doing the leaving out themselves, and of learning hard but useful lessons from the experience.
It hurts.
Statistics show how social media can even increase levels in anxiety and depression which in my opinion, is very accurate. It’s hard not to feel even a little disappointed when you’re scrolling and you see a picture of a group of people from your school, smiling left to right. Then you look around to see your lonely room and you can compare yourself to the people on the internet.
— Audrey E., Hoggard High School, Wilmington NC
My usual Friday nights are absolutely miserable. I usually spend it sitting on my bed reading or stuck in my bedroom fiddling with my robot. I spend these nights alone, kept company by my mind solely. But that’s not the miserable part. Being alone is something that I have become used to, and started to take a liking to. The bad part is when my parents ask what my friends are doing, and I am always forced to respond with “I don’t know.” In their voice and faces after I say that, I see, hear, and feel sadness, and it seeps into my mind. It makes me believe that I have no friends, and that I socially amount to nothing.
When someone else points out your loneliness, it makes it 100 times worse. Just recently, I was a part of a group conversation. A few jokes were made that I did not understand at all, and I seemed to be the only one not getting. I realized that they all had a group chat, all 13 of them. I immediately felt like in their minds, they didn’t really consider me as one of them, or at least not good enough to be on the chat. It made me feel worthless and unimportant. I have not, and do not plan on, making a comment, because what if they said no? Or worse, said yes with hesitation? The even slight possibility of social humiliation is enough for me to say nothing.
When you tell your friends an idea of having a bonfire in the summer, suddenly your friends had gone ghost, then you watch your friends on social media at the bonfire, without you. It will make you have an internal feeling of not having anyone, isolation, abandonment. Leaving you to assume that you are not good enough to hang with the crew, trying to pretend like you are not bothered by the isolation. The feeling of isolation and abandonment will make you think about walking right out of their lives all from betrayal.
— Darnasia Shields, Lakewood,OH.
“Bye Marta, Chiara and Ali, I hope you guys have a great weekend.”
These three girls were what I considered best friends for most of my life. ”Come on girls, we are going to be late to get parking space at the beach.” My grandpa drove us to the beach on Friday afternoons and quickly, this became our tradition. When the day of his passing came around, they were the first ones there to visit me at the hospital.From that point on, I knew friendship couldn’t get better than this.I was walking down the carline opening the door to my moms car, I turned around to realize that Marta’s car had two other people in it, even though she had told me her weekend was going to be a “girls trip” with her sister Gaia, at a beach house. I was convinced that it was Gaia’s friends last minute deciding to go on the beach trip. I soon realized I was too blinded by the “best friend promises.” I checked instagram as a new post appeared on my feed. “Wouldn’t want to hang out with any other people.”-Marta. This quote was captioned under a picture of the beach spot my grandfather always brought all three of us to. My heart shattered in a million pieces because I felt like I lost my three best friends. They ruined the only place left that reminded me of my grandfather. We all lost a part of ourselves that day.
— Michelle Gargagliano, Hoggard High School, Wilmington, NC
Recently, I came to school and met my friends as usual. It was a Monday, and I thought it had been a normal weekend, with no big plans or parties, but I was wrong. My friend came up to me, showing me a video of her and some of our other friends. “Look,” She said, “We went bowling on Saturday. It was so much fun!” I looked at the video, laughed, and tried to shrug it off. It didn’t work. I kept thinking about it, wondering why I wasn’t invited. I knew I shouldn’t dwell on it, but I couldn’t let it go. I felt that short moment of sadness that makes you feel inferior. I know I have been left out before, and I know I will be many more times in my life. I only hope I will learn to get over it, and cherish having friends, even if I don’t spend every weekend with them.
