What Students Are Saying About: Public Shaming, Making Apologies and Glimpses of the Future

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What Students Are Saying About: Public Shaming, Making Apologies and Glimpses of the Future

Hiding behind a screen

Like so many listed, I have to admit that I am guilty of this. I think that most apologies that are delivered digitally aren’t done so because they aren’t genuine, but because it’s so much easier to ask for forgiveness from the comfort of your couch, hiding behind a screen. When you’re face-to-face with that person, you either get too embarrassed to admit your mistake, or you’re too scared that it won’t be accepted. Somehow, whether it be to an offer of forgiveness or a dating request, people fear a corporal rejection more than a digital one, which encourages them to send these messages from a screen.

Diya Jain, New Jersey

“Sorry.” Receiving that from a bubble over text has never relieved me from whatever situation led to it. I’ve always preferred an in-person apology, but I VERY rarely get those now. Living in the social media age has taken such a toll on the quality of our conversations that many are uncomfortable having in-person conversations. These awkward feelings towards face-to-face convos cause us to resort to typed characters on a screen to let out our thoughts and feelings. However, this method of communication is very dangerous …

Our minds receiving that text can pick apart every detail. “Why did he capitalize that?” “She put a period … she’s obviously mad!” While the person on the other end may have had no intentions to send off “negative vibes.” Then, the argument begins: “Why are you mad at me?”So many arguments can be prevented with a phone call. Talking face-to-face allows for optimum communication. If I ever got into a situation with a person that ended in them having to apologize, I would 100% prefer a phone call or to be apologized to in person because one, it’s way more personal, and two, it gives me the peace of mind that they are being genuine.

Emma Coleman, Hoggard High School, Wilmington, NC

The only struggle with apologizing face to face is sometimes it can be very nerve racking, and for some people who are not very social it can seem almost impossible to do. I think that is why so many apologies are sent through text. But I also think that for some people it is tough to face the truth. Most of the kids in our generation now do everything through their phone so that they can hide. They don’t want to feel the agony of being wrong so they apologize through text or phone call. But like I said earlier, the most genuine and most heartfelt way to apologize in my opinion is in person, and then after just shoot them a text just to tell them how sorry you are.

Trey Clucas, Hoggard High School

The dos and don’ts of saying you’re sorry

I think admitting that you made a mistake and then explaining what you are going to do to not make it again, really leaves no room for the apologizee (forgive my phrasing) to be mad, at least at the apology.In short, if you want an effective apology, start by acknowledging what you did wrong, explain what you will do to NEVER do this again, and finish by passive-aggressively insulting the one you are apologizing to for being so sensitive. The last part has … mixed results.

Justin Pfeifer, Hoggard Highschool Wilmington, NC

I think that the best apologies are when the offender realizes what they have said has caused offense and they are genuinely sorry for being insensitive. With the observance of their offence, they now know not to do or say whatever it is they did that caused a negative reaction. A lot of people don’t care if they offend people, their apologies are in genuine and they continue offending others, making no changes.

Dana Mormando, Hoggard High School, Wilmington NC

An apology should consist of recognition of wrongdoing, and an expression of remorse for the event. Bad apologies are not sincere and often take the approach of blaming anything but self. Many times the wrongdoer will even guilt the recipient to make themselves feel better …Apologies are of importance because they can build and strengthen a relationship when an individual can take responsibility for their shortcoming or mistakes. It shows the love and respect one has for another when they can admit to their flaws, and hopefully aim to improve themselves. It can be corrosive, though, if one is only giving excuses or continuously having the same problem, promise to change, and producing no growth.

Hannah Jade, Etna, CA