‘I Couldn’t Help Comparing Myself’: The Week 8 Winner of Our Summer Reading Contest

0
161
‘I Couldn’t Help Comparing Myself’: The Week 8 Winner of Our Summer Reading Contest

Jolie, from Long Island, N.Y., chose an article from the Health section headlined How Teens Recovered From the ‘TikTok Tics’” and wrote:

As I learned of teens whose tics emerged and dissipated in about a year, I felt a sense of isolation as sharp as a jerk of my neck.

I’ve had Tourette’s syndrome for over three years. Like these individuals, my involuntary outbursts, physical and audible, arose during the pandemic. Despite my late-night thrashings and over-enunciated exclaims, despite classmates’ crass imitations and snide remarks, I overcame my initial insecurity. I’ve become more accustomed to my tics: they are simply an annoyance I tolerate. They are a new part of myself.

Though I’ve grown to accept them, my tics fuel an ardent quest to understand my condition. I attempt to draw meaning from erratic whistles, flailing limbs, and rapid-fire blinks. I want to clarify a disorder that is inherently senseless.

Obsessively rereading, I couldn’t help comparing myself to these teens, hoping to determine what made their tics slip away and mine continue. As I read about their short-lived “bout with tics,” I seethed with envy and resented myself for not outgrowing the diagnosis. That familiar self-consciousness pricked at my skin. I had not felt that way in years.

The article I scoured for answers only rehashed an old insecurity, leaving me more confused than I started. But more importantly, it withheld my reality and deprived readers of a full picture.

Like my Tourette’s syndrome, my ardent quest for answers persists.

_______

In alphabetical order by the writer’s first name.

Alice L. on “Will Translation Apps Make Learning Foreign Languages Obsolete?

Laila on “Why Are Dave Matthews Band Fans So Loyal?

Ryan W. on “In California, a Math Problem: Does Data Science = Algebra II?

Yiyao Z. on “Ancient Judaism Recognized a Range of Genders. It’s Time We Did, Too.

Alice Z. on “Goodbye, Old Friend

Anya on “What’s the Story With Colleen Hoover?

Audrey on “Can a Poem Be Too Short? It Depends on the Poem, and the Reader.

Claire Y. on “Roald Dahl Museum Calls Author’s Racism ‘Undeniable and Indelible’

Defne K. on “The Tiny Irish Village Where Sinéad O’Connor Escaped the World