Bombing on the big test. Falling on your face during an audition for the school play. Striking out with the bases loaded in a big game.
When have you failed miserably?
Looking back, have you gained anything positive from past failures, despite the disappointment or embarrassment you might have felt? Any lessons about yourself, life or what it takes to succeed?
In “Want to Thrive? First, Learn to Fail.” Jancee Dunn writes about the value of embracing our mistakes:
When Sara Blakely, founder of the shapewear brand Spanx, was a child, her father would pose an unusual question to her and her brother over dinner: How did you fail this week?
“He encouraged us to fail, and not to be afraid of it,” she told me. “If we didn’t have something to tell him that week, he would be disappointed.”
When Blakely tried out for the cheerleading squad and was “horrible and didn’t make it,” he high-fived her. When she revealed that she lost her campaign for senior class president, he told her that was amazing.
“I knew that the most popular girl was running and would win, but I had been trained by my dad to do it for the experience and the stories and the people you might meet by putting yourself out there,” Blakely said.
But most of us try to avoid failure and are embarrassed when things go wrong, said Amy Edmondson, a professor of leadership at Harvard Business School.
Dr. Edmondson has spent 20 years researching psychological safety, or the belief that people can speak up in the workplace without the risk of punishment or humiliation. Her new book “Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well” uses that research to explore how we can build a healthy relationship with our mistakes.
Ms. Dunn outlines three strategies to process and learn from our missteps, based on Dr. Edmondson’s research:
Put your failure into context.
Learn how to pivot.
Encourage failure sharing.
Students, read the entire article and then tell us:
When have you failed in your life? Describe a memorable mistake, blunder or epic fail: What did you set out to do? What actually happened? How did you feel at the time?
In retrospect, did you learn any valuable lessons from your failure? If so, what positives did you gain?
Dr. Edmundson says that most of us try to avoid failure and are embarrassed when things go wrong. To what extent does the fear or shame of failure shape your choices and life, in and out of school? Do you think they prevent you from growing, thriving, taking risks or trying new things?
Which strategies outlined in the article do you find most useful for reconciling with mistakes? Do you have tips of your own to recommend to others?
Do your parents, teachers or coaches encourage you to fail? What do you think of the question Sara Blakely’s father posed to her and her brother over dinner: “How did you fail this week?” Do you wish the adults in your life would encourage trying and failing more?
Students 13 and older in the United States and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public and may appear in print.
Find more Student Opinion questions here. Teachers, check out this guide to learn how you can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.
