I feel that when it comes to my family, my parents give me lots of freedom in regards to my social life. Although with this freedom, there are a few rules that come with it: if I’m not sleeping over somewhere then I must be back on the property by 12:30AM, and I have to be nice to them and maintain good grades. Being the youngest of three, I feel that my parents have essentially found the perfect balance of rules regarding my social life.
Sleepovers started off as family friends but once I got older it was pretty much anyone. It wasn’t ALWAYS like this. I had to earn my parents’ trust that I could be responsible when going out. The only rules are they have to meet the parents, I have to keep an eye on my phone, and to give them updates throughout the hangout. When I get to being a parent, many years in the future, I will probably have the same views on these things.
— Violet, Masterman School, Philadelphia, PA
I don’t think my parents think they are overprotective, but sometimes they can be. They have always been good and supportive of me going out with friends but as we all reach the age of high school and parties, alcohol, etc. they, understandably, ask many questions. Who? Where? When? Why? How? and more. It can get annoying, I must admit, and I hate to compare them to other parents so I just go along with it. I have nothing to hide. They were once in high school too so I am sure they understand how it goes. Do I wish they would back off a little? Yes. Can I really stop them? No. Whether I like it or not they are just looking out for me and making sure I don’t do anything dumb and I love/hate them for that. Not hate but you know what I mean.
And a few shared what they wish parents better understood about letting their children socialize.
Sleepovers are an amazing way for kids to become better friends and talk with each other about things they probably wouldn’t talk about out in public. Parents who take their kids home early or don’t even let their children go are only hurting their kids in the long run. You might not think that it’s a big deal but sooner or later, these friends that your kid has are going to stop asking them to come over because they already know what his or her parent is going to say. This will result in your child feeling like nobody likes them and that they don’t have any friends, all because their parent wouldn’t let them spend the night at somebody’s house. I know that for some parents, safety is a big concern but there are ways to get around that. For example, before I can go spend the night at someone’s house, my parents have to talk to their parents. I also have to communicate with my parents if we go somewhere or plan to do something. It is all about communication; sit your child down and tell them what the rules are, what you expect, and what you don’t expect. There is no reason for you to ruin your child’s fun because you are always thinking about the negative things that could happen.
My parents did not let me have sleepovers until around the beginning of middle school. When I was a little bit younger than that, there were situations where I was the only kid that was picked up early and it did make me feel left out at times. I think parents should let their kids have these experiences especially in adolescence. Parents should try to create situations where they would feel more comfortable. Some examples are getting to know the other child’s parents, having the sleepover at your house instead, keeping in contact with your child during the sleepover, etc. I usually only have sleepovers with close friends that I trust, and my parents have had conversations with me about safety. I know that it’s okay to leave a situation if I don’t feel comfortable and I can use my parents as an excuse to leave. Overall the most important takeaway is that a parent should be having conversations with their child about safety but letting them have these experiences in a safe environment.
— Monsavanh, Central Coast California
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