Losing friends is a part of life
In only 15 years of living I have learned that people change – sometimes it’s for the better, and sometimes it may not be. In a situation where I feel a friend and I start to lose contact, I always think to myself – What am I doing wrong? Why don’t they want to talk to me anymore? But then I find it’s just the way life changes. The article quotes that “Friendships are fragile, and most aren’t built to last forever. Circumstances change, bonds diminish.” – which shows, and I agree, that people really never stay the same.
Yes, I have had significant friendships end. I agree that even “deeply felt psychic connections” are “bound to fray” because I have had that happen to me before. It made me very upset and left me wondering what I did wrong or what was wrong with me. But in many cases it isn’t someone in the relationship doing something wrong, it is really just growing apart and being interested in different things which changes the friendship.
In your younger years friends came quickly, we didn’t think about little things like looks or what they wore. The truth is we didn’t care, in fact I think that’s a much healthier mindset than the one so many of us have now. In my fifteen years living life the friends have come and gone. I’ve watched as the girls I called my best friends turn into acquaintances I’ll wave at on the street or make awkward eye contact with in the hallways. There’s no simple explanation as to why a person who once supported you and made you laugh could cause you so much pain.
I have lost many good friends throughout my life. Some have left because we went to different schools, sometimes I was too weird or not cool enough, and sometimes they just left. The thing that I have learned over time is that you can move on and the pain of losing that friend will ease. Just because one friend didn’t stay doesn’t mean that the next friend won’t stay. I blamed myself whenever my friends would leave and I was depressed for a time. But I was told that I shouldn’t settle for any friend just because I need one at the time, you should wait for the person that will stay throughout the good and the bad. Losing friends is apart of life, but then you will find friends and it will get better.
Not all friendships are bound to end
I don’t entirely agree with what the article is saying about friendships/ relationships. Yes you are always going to have people coming in and out of your life, that doesn’t mean that all friendships are bound to end. There are some people who just stay in your life for a long time, possibly the entirety of it. At least that is what I’ve witnessed in the few years of my life.
Before I read this article, I had many friends. As I let the last sentence roll off my tongue, I realized I have closer to five. I have five friends that I would cry for if I lost. To me, these friendships are perfect. I agree with Michel de Montaigne. I believe the perfect friendship exists if you let it. I understand my definition of a perfect friendship, and I don’t try to fit it into somebody else’s. My friendship shouldn’t be defined by anybody but myself and my friend. When I make friends, I do have the mentality that this is going to last forever because I know that if I believe that it won’t, then I will look for any reason not to let it.
I disagree with this article based off of my own experiences. with friendships. In the past, many of my close friendships have been ended due to events that either were insensitive to hardships I was facing, or greatly belittled my personal beliefs. Many of those who I believed to be there for me turned their backs on me when I really needed them, and now I struggle to open myself up to new people. My experiences with friendship has made me aware that many people only care for you on a surface level, but these experiences have also made me appreciate the real friends I do have.