Concerns about parents’ expectations and disapproval
Though it may seem reasonable to seek advice or help from your parents, in my case it does not rest the same. Growing up with immigrant parents was difficult, in the aspect that they were not as open enough to me and were highly strict with their parenting terms. Their strictness may have prevented me from opening up to a relationship with them, but for many cases found in immigrant families, it is more likely, causing more signs of anxiety and depression.
— Vanessa Gonzalez, John H. Francis Polytechnic High School
My issue is when I try to talk to my mom about situations that are happening in my life, she nicely tells me that it’s my fault that I’m in the situation and then gives me a lecture about knowing right from wrong and other similar subjects. First of all that’s not helpful second it makes me feel attacked and then I don’t want to talk anymore. So I don’t tell myself much of anything unless I really have to. Although I wouldn’t mind telling my mom everything going on in my life, it just never goes well for me.
It’s hard and uncomfortable for me to share my problems with my parents because they don’t always react how I want them to. Sometimes they say that it’s my fault, so I don’t really talk to them about my issues, because I think I can handle them on my own. Also, I know that they’re busy and don’t have time, so I don’t bother them with stuff. I don’t ask for help on anything. I only ask if I’m desperate. They say I shouldn’t be asking for help much, and I should try to figure it out on my own.
— Catherine Jonathan, J.R Masterman
Telling our parents about our issues can sometimes be the biggest problem. For example I find that whenever I receive a bad grade, or fail to do something, my issue is never really that I am worried about what I can do to fix it, but how my parents will react to the news. Because of this I only feel comfortable talking to my parents about certain things, like teachers, or other topics not related to grades and schoolwork, that happen at school.
Usually I’m the type to hold on my feelings until I decide I’ve had enough, I do that with my friends and my family. I speak my mind when I need to and I say what I have to say, but when it comes to my feelings, they are harder to express. Often times, going to my mom isn’t the easiest or most comfortable option I have. When I go to my mom, I have to gather up courage to face my mother in a raw, letting go of my pride sort of way in order to tell her how I feel.
— Jessica Elkotbeid, Los Angeles, CA
What parents could do better
This is to parents; We teens act mostly on our emotion, especially when we have it all bunched up in us. And when we turn to you guys for help, we expect that you guys would be there to tell us it’ll be ok. Instead some parents are criticize our thoughts because sometimes they think it is too immature …
— zero, Upper Merion High School, PA
When a pile of stress is dropped on us, we get lost and feel alone when we don’t know who to turn too. Parents try to help in any way they can, and they usually try to help by give advice. However, in the eyes of a teenager, parents seem to be criticizing our every move when we are only look for a support system. For parents and teens to overcome this obstacle, it is best for parents to know that we are not always looking for a solution.
