For instance:
“We should think about this,” I said.
“I’ve been thinking about it, Mom,” he said. “And I really want to.”
Don’t go! I thought.
“Well, then you should do it,” I said.
“Really, Mom? I can?”
Please don’t!
“Absolutely.”
How does the writer help the reader keep track of who is talking? Does every line need what’s known as a dialogue tag — like “he said” and “she shouted” — after a character has spoken? What dialogue tags does this writer use? How does she help the reader understand what she’s thinking versus what is being said?
What do you learn about the son solely through what he says and how he says it? Imagine that this piece was told from the son’s point of view instead, and we had access to his thoughts as he spoke. How might this piece change? What do you imagine some of those thoughts might be?
What else do you notice about how dialogue works in this story? Does it help address any of the questions you had after you tried writing your own?
Now, take your study a bit further, and contrast what you just read with the related Lives essay, “I Was 18 and Pregnant,” also by Randa Jarrar.
What do you notice about how dialogue is used here? Why do you think the writer might have made different choices about its use in this piece? (Hint: How is “talk” — or lack thereof — a theme?)
What can you take away from the two essays together about when and how to include dialogue in a piece and when not to? Why?
Now Try This:
Take a fresh look at a narrative you’re working on, and see what you might borrow from this writer.
Are there places where you could tell your story more effectively through dialogue? Why? What can dialogue do in your piece that narration alone might not?
Are there places where a conversation is best simply described, or where only a line or two is needed? Why? How can you make the dialogue you add have the most impact?
Are there places where it might be useful to borrow the technique in “The Missing-Piece Son” and vary dialogue with the thoughts of a narrator? What could that add to the story?
Other Mentor Texts for Writing Dialogue
Below each title is an excerpt from the piece.
“The Other Talk,” a 2019 essay from the Rites of Passage column, by Shaquille Heath
In an earnest voice, he looked at me and said, “You’re black.” He said it so sternly that I thought that this remark may have been the end of the talk.
“I’m sure you’ve already had encounters in life that tell you what this means,” he said, “but I want to talk to you about it.”
“Arguing With God,” a 2006 essay from a Times Magazine column called True-Life Tales, by Samantha M. Shapiro
“Forget about going to Boston next month,” my mother called to report. “The rabbi canceled Michael’s bar mitzvah.”
“How is that possible?” I asked.
“You know Michael’s a wild kid,” my mother said.
“We Found Our Son in the Subway,” a 2013 essay from the Opinion section’s Townies column, by Peter Mercurio
Danny called me that day, frantic. “I found a baby!” he shouted. “I called 911, but I don’t think they believed me. No one’s coming. I don’t want to leave the baby alone. Get down here and flag down a police car or something.”
“The Man on Death Row Who Changed Me,” a 2014 essay from the Lives column, by Bryan Stevenson
“I’m very sorry,” I blurted out. “I’m really sorry, I’m really sorry, uh, O.K., I don’t really know, uh, I’m just a law student, I’m not a real lawyer.”
“When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” a 2019 essay from the Modern Love column, by Andrew Lee
“If things don’t work out,” she said, “would it hurt your confidence?”
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ve got enough confidence for both of us. When my friends ask what happened, I’ll say, ‘She had everything going for her, but sometimes things get between people.’” I smiled. “‘Like racism.’”
Questions for Any Narrative Essay on Dialogue:
Where is dialogue used in this piece? Where is dialogue implied but not actually written out? (For example, “They talked about what happened in class that day and decided …”) Who speaks and who doesn’t?
What do you notice about the places where the writer chooses to use dialogue? How does it advance the plot, deepen your understanding of a character, or emphasize a theme or idea? What do you learn through it? How would it be different if the writer did not use dialogue here, but just described a conversation instead?
Do the voices of each character sound distinct? How so? What do they tell you about those characters?
